Monday, August 9, 2010

The Secret Of The Patrick Swayze Mullet

Photo of Patrick Swayze Mullet
Patrick Swayze mullet

The legendary Patrick Swayze was a rare leading man, to say the least. How many movie stars can you name who were capable of making a cheesy romance movie one year, then turning around and putting out a cult classic guy-flick like Road House the next? Maybe Mel Gibson and one or two others, but it's not a very long list. What was his appeal? How is it that this man was able to make the women swoon, and still be referenced by name in the lyrics of a DMX gangsta rap song? It may have been the Patrick Swayze mullet.

This hair style is as much a legend as the man himself. A cutting edge advancement on mullet technology, we still do not have the science to recreate it to this day. You may think "Oh it's just the same thing as Kurt Russel had in Escape From New York!" but you are wrong. Russel's shaggy locks lent him a true tough guy appeal, that's for certain, but it did him no favors as a lady's man, which, honestly, completely misses the point of wearing a mullet in the first place.

Picture of Patrick Swayze mullet haircut
Patrick Swayze mullet haircut

Swayze's mullet was a much more brazen, bold, and dangerous look. In the hands of a lesser mulletologist, it may have simply looked like a typical trailer park mullet, but in Swayze's capable hands, it was perhaps the greatest mullet Hollywood had ever seen.

What made it so special? It is certainly more than the sum of its parts. The front is a standard Duck Butt, like Elvis wore, while the back, the party end of the deal, was a gorgeous mane of dirty bond that somehow straddled the line between shaggy and well kept.

The trick might have been in Swayze's conditioner, rumored to have been custom formulated out of rare South American tree saps and a very small dose of plutonium. Whatever the case, Swayze took his secret to the grave, which may be for the best. This secret was not meant to fall into the wrong hands lest the process of natural selection fall to anarchy.

Some of the finest and most brilliant mullet researchers on the planet have tried to ape this look, but to no avail.

Our advice is to simply experiment with different shampoos and conditioners, try teasing it in different ways, use some mousse or gel or spray, and if you manage to recreate the look to perfection, guard the secret with your life.

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